PASTOR DAVE’S MUSINGS FROM THE HEARTLAND

June 8, 2022

BUDDIES

                When I was the pastor of the Westville United Methodist Church in the 1970’s a member of the church had a medical emergency and was not found for several days.  When help did arrive, the lady’s condition had so deteriorated that they were unable to save her life.  It was felt that if she could have received medical assistance sooner the outcome would have been different.

The lady was older and lived alone.  She was an active member of the church.  She and her neighbor who lived across the street from her talked almost daily.  There were no relatives living close.  When the neighbor was asked why she did not report not being able to get in touch with her friend sooner, she said she thought she was gone somewhere.

About twenty years later when I was the pastor of the Tracy United Methodist Church I got a phone call from a woman who was concerned about a friend.  She had not been able to reach her and knowing that she was a member of the church was calling to see if I knew anything.  I called the police and they went to investigate.  They found the woman deceased in her bathroom.  She had been gone for less than a day.

One thing I remember from my days as a Boy Scout was the “Buddy System.”  You never did anything alone.  Therefore, if something might happen there was someone who could offer aid and go for help.  This was especially true when swimming.

In response to the death of the lady at Westville we started our version of the “Buddy System.”  We made a list of all the members, especially the older ones, who lived alone.  For those who wanted to participate a person was assigned to call them at a particular time every day.  If the “buddy” did not get a response and was not aware of where the person might be, they had contact information about how to follow up.

The Book of Ecclesiastes encourages a sort of “Buddy System.”  “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help.  Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone?  And though one might prevail against another, two will stand one.  A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” (Ecc. 4:9-12)

As one gets older there is a greater danger of misfortunate happening.  At the same time friends die or move away, relatives call less frequently, and regular daily contacts become less frequent.  One can get to the place where there is no one who is regularly in contact with the person, who might note a disruption of habits.  Unfortunately, there is no one organization who has taken it as their responsibility to contact everyone who falls into this situation.

There are programs of which a person might subscribe.  They provide an alert which the person might use to summons help and regular calls to make sure that the person is O.K.  One thing that all of us might do who have older friends and relatives that live alone is make sure they have a “buddy” who checks in on them on a regular basis.  One way we can be our brother’s and sister’s keeper is by being their buddy